The Next Best Dry Noodles On Earth

Everyone misses something about high school. Waking up at dawn, putting on your uniform in ways to look cool enough for the crowd, rushing your homework due that day while glancing through your notes for finals, and then taking the exam with fellow peers staring down on you and expecting you to somehow discretely feed the answers to them without getting caught by the biased teacher whose eyes are solely on you.

Ok, it was pretty bad. Unless… every day after school, something special awaited you. Something that made your nerves tingle with joy, your heart skip a beat, your eyes pop and your mouth salivate.

A shop. A noodle shop. A noodle shop with the best damn dry noodles. I personally think that there’s some kind of drug in it. Or caffeine. Like Coke. That’s the only logical reason why it is so addictive.

So what does one do when one is physically far from the best damn noodles on earth?

Well, try hard to duplicate it. Very hard.

After years of trying… ok maybe just five times, I still couldn’t make it taste exactly like how I remembered it. Like I said, there’s some kind of drug in it that I can’t possibly duplicate.

But we all know that everything in life inevitably comes to an end. It’s time to say goodbye. No, not to me. To the best noodles on earth. Why? Because during my adventures of noodle making, I’ve concocted the NEXT best dry noodles on earth. Absolutely! Take that you old best dry noodles on earth!

Go ahead. Take a bite.

Quick Recipe          Serves 2

what you need:
10 oz (300g) ground pork (or other meat)
12 small shiitake mushrooms, soaked in 1/2 cup hot water for 15 minutes, then cut into thin strips. Do not discard water.
1-2 bunches of any vegetables (bok choy, chinese brocolli..etc) – cut into two inches length crosswise
2 tbs rice bran oil (or other oil)
8 cloves garlic, finely diced
7 oz (200g)noodles (dried wheat, such as wide lo mein noodles)
Water (enough to cook the noodles)

Pork marinade
3 tbs light soy sauce
1 tbs thick caramel sauce or kecap manis (for color)
Salt (to taste)
White pepper (to taste)
A pinch of sugar

Noodles Seasoning
2 tbs garlic oil
2 tbs oyster sauce
2 tbs thick caramel sauce
1/2 tbs sesame oil
1-2 tbs light soy sauce (depending if noodles contain salt)
Salt & white pepper (to taste)

Garnish
3-5 sprigs of cilantro, finely chopped
1-2 stalks of green onion, finely sliced
1 tbs fried shallots
1 tbs fried anchovies

Chili Condiment
1-2 red chilies, cut lengthwise and deseed. Then thinly sliced crosswise.
1 tbs light soy sauce

directions:

Pork & Mushroom Topping:
1. In a bowl, combine ground pork with the pork marinade. Mix well.
2. Heat a pan on over medium high heat. Add the oil and fry the garlic until it starts to brown.
3. Add the mushroom and fry until it starts to brown.
4. Add the marinated ground pork and fry until the meat is fully cooked and no longer pink.
5. Add the soaked shiitake water. When water boils, put the fire on low and simmer covered for 10 minutes.
6. Remove from heat and set aside covered. (Extra topping can be frozen for future consumption)

Vegetables & Noodles:
1. Blanch the vegetables in boiling water, drain and set aside. (You can choose to toss them with some soy sauce or garlic oil)
2. Bring the same water to a rolling boil and cook the noodles (according to package directions).
3. While noodles are cooking, combine the noodles seasoning on a wide plate.
4. When noodles are done (al dente), strain and toss the noodles with the noodles seasoning.

Assemble the noodles:
1. Arrange noodles, blanched vegetables and pork topping on two plates. Garnish.
2. Serve immediately with a chili condiment (combine sliced chili and soy sauce on a dipping plate) or with sambal.

What’s your favorite noodles?